Ramblings Of A Madman Madman.

barb manatee

eggsistenshull stuf 2 make u thinck

From the journal of Lt. Commander A. Arthur Ames, Dept. of Galactic Defense 

Day 467, 13 Oct 2007. EST 19:45

Dear Diary. No, Journal. Please correct that intro, computer. Thank you.

Dear Di- Journal. Gah. Restart the entry again, computer. Thank you.

Dear Journey. Ha ha, I mean journal, ha. The wheel in the sky- computer stop recording, please. I know you can hear me. Confound it. Restart again. At least you know how to do that. Thank you.

Dear Journal. Ah yes, there it is. Dear Journal. what to say about today? It is, or rather has been, one of the awkardest- scratch that, correct it to “most awkward”, thank you- one of the “most awkward”- ok computer, i saw you still put the quotation marks “around” the phrase “most awkward” and- alright, now you’re “doing” it “again”. “Dadgum” it. “Reset” “yourself” “please”.

This entry brought to you by Microsoft.

This entry brought to you by Sony.

Welcome to the future of journaling.

Welcome back Lt. Commander Ames. Please wait while your system is loaded.





with the stupid smiley- oh good it’s on.

Dear Journal. Today I had one of the most awkward experiences in my 28 years. We were investigating the heat signatures we found on Tatooine 87- side note: we really do need to stop naming planets that, yes we get it, it’s a Star Wars reference, we all had a good laugh the first time, move on- anyhow, we were investigating the heat signatures. Finally we picked up on a faint radio signal coming from the heat signature. The excitment in the air was palpable. Finally we honed in- hold up. Computer. You misspelled “excitment”. You did it again. Double you tee effort. No computer, I did not mean effort. I meant eff, like the letter. (F). Yes, that one. Now back to excitment, I need you to run process “learn word” please. Stupid piece of

Microsoft Windows [Version 5.8.68]

Copyright <c> 2006 Windows Corporation. All rights reserved.


No response found_

Sigh. No, don’t type sigh. Fine. I don’t understand why anyone would still be reading this anyway. Make me some ice cream. Stop recording this. Sweet lord I hate this place. You would think a space station would be fun, but no, we have to have stupid robots to do everything. I miss Day Moin(?). No, computer, it’s- screw it. Power off. Now. For Peter’s sake. Where is that power chord. Chord, not chord. Stupid piece of crap. My chest hurts. My arm is numb. What the flim(?) flam. There should be a question mark after that sentence, computer. Oh, sure, you can do commas, just fine, but, when it comes to question marks, no, thank you. I hate you? No, I really do? Those aren’t questions, computer? Kill me? Ouch? I think I’m having a heart attack? Can you alert the medical staff, computer? Yes, that one is a real question? Do you understand me computer? I hate you so much?

  • 26 September 2011