A boy once sat on a sidewalk in the country of the United States of America.He ate an apple. A horse walked by. The horse stole the apple. The boy cried. He then called the library. The librarian told him to be quiet.
The boy got up and walked home. His house was covered in snow, even though it was January. The boy picked up his father’s gun and loaded it.
He walked back out to the street, up to a man who lived on the other side of town. “I’ll sell you this gun if I can ride your unicycle” said the boy. “I would take it son, but I have no unicycle.” The boy wept for seven hours. He then called for a dump truck to come take him away. Along the way, he saw a bird. He shot it with his father’s gun. “Hey there, young man!” an older lady yelled at him, “animals are people too!”. “If they really were”, replied the boy, “wouldn’t they be called people?”.
And so, the young boy drove off into the sunset, to lead a life filled with going to community college, working at a cinema, cooking meth, going to jail, saving a unicorn, recovering from food poisoning and becoming a successful businessman, getting married, and dying of Leukemia. His name was Geoff Rollins. He was fictional.