"shh. the plant is sleeping."
"why is it sleeping?"
"because everything needs to sleep, you stupid ignorant piece of fat."
"how is this not different? i feel like a plant is different."
"why would it be any different? i honestly don’t see what you’re talking about here."
"well, i mean, come on. it’s a plant. it’s not moving. it never moves. i mean, yeah it grows. but other than that? come on man. it’s just different."
"open your eyes, you half-witted knowledge killer. that plant is just as real as you and i. it needs to sleep just like any other living organism. open your eyes, you ignoramus."
"alright man, i feel like you’re going a little overboard with the insulting. and i mean, for real. plants aren’t alive. look it up bro."
"ok you know what? shut up. i’m serious. shut up. i’m not going to continue this stupid conversation with you, because you’re holding onto this stupid belief that that plant isn’t real. i’m taking offense to that. what else isn’t real, jerry? what’s next? cats? iguanas? aztec indians? rice? i’m seriously disappointed in you, man."
"whatever man. but i’m telling you, that plant isn’t sleeping."
"whatever. thank you, einstein."
-two pieces of bacon having a normal, everyday conversation