The soft beating of my heart is a sharp contrast to the silence around me. The darkness engulfs me, chills me. My only ally is patience.
The minutes wane.
I hear the creak of floorboards in the distance. My pulse quickens. Beads of sweat saturate my brow. I must move now.
The floor moans beneath me. I sharply draw my breath. I now move faster, lighter, adrenaline pumping through me. My hands feel about me for the door handle. Finally, I find it. I pull it open without a sound. I reach inside the door and find my prize. Oreo’s. My precious midnight snack. I quickly ope-
What? Too realistic? THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENS TO ME ALL THE TIME. Unbelievable? BELIEVE IT. I ALWAYS GET FREAKED OUT BY THE FLOORBOARDS ‘CUZ I DON’T WANNA WAKE ANYONE UP ‘CUZ THE ONLY WAY TO HAVE A SATISFYING MIDNIGHT SNACK IS AFTER EVERYONE GOES TO BED OKAY? NO, YOU HAVE A SNACK BEFORE BED I DO WHAT I WANT I’M A GROWN-BUTT MAN okay i’m done now i’ll go to bed i’m so sorry you had to read this r.i.p. comedy please forgive me